


Unplanned

by Vrunka



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, No sex?, One Shot, There is no sex, no really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 19:51:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vrunka/pseuds/Vrunka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short look into Dirk's thought process to help me deal with my update feelings back when Dirk was talking to Hal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unplanned

Kissing Jake.

In the shadows of the mounds of LOMAX, fighting asphyxiation in the tombs of LOTAK.

Wherever you can. Whenever.

And sometimes it tastes like pearls and goodness and all the shit you’ve seen in those romance films you pretend you don’t watch. Sometimes it tastes like love.

Other times it tastes like blood, because there’s blood on your face from some battle. From where you’ve bitten through your tongue to keep from saying all those fucking sappy things that are always battling to break down your cool façade.

Sometimes they taste helpless. You feel helpless. When his lips press against yours and your world is narrowed down to the point where his hand is holding your hip and your lips are touching. Nothing exists beyond those moments of contact. Between your moments of contact. He’s too important and you’re too far gone.

And you can’t help but feel everything when you’re with him. Like all those emotions you’d managed to stave off for so long have finally found you and decided to make up for all the lost time tenfold.

It’s too unreal.

Surreal.

Magnified.

Your love for him is more than a bruise, a slight change to your outlook on life. It’s a scab, something gouged out of your soul. Something no longer yours.

Something you cannot control.

The trajectory of your relationship is not beyond you. You are not dumb. You are not blind. It is easy to see where Jake is going and what is happening. His distance. His dissatisfaction. The parabola is starting the downward curve. Like you always knew it would. Like you’d planned.

But fuck.

You didn’t expect it to hurt.

You hadn’t expected to lose control of your handle on things so far as you had. And now you have. And now it is too late. Part of you is gone, is irrevocably sewn into Jake’s being. Part of you is splintered from you like so many pieces of you are. But this time you didn’t mean for it to happen.

You aren’t ready to bruise and bleed. Not anymore. Not now.

But it’s too late. Is already happening. Jake is pulling away and there is nothing you can do but hope. Hope that it doesn’t destroy you. Something in you, some important something of you is gone. And you can only hope to function without it.

Ironic, you suppose, given your aspects.

How he’s taken your heart and left you with hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said. Really short. Hope you enjoyed it though.


End file.
